Family Meetings as a Tool for Connection, Clarity, and Shared Values
This time of year is often a time when families practice traditions that build connectedness and solidify relationships across generations. Whether your family culture is one that operates informally or formally, the process of setting basic guidelines can be a way to practice family governance.
Setting family meeting guidelines or ground rules together may also be an important exercise that encourages family members to participate in setting the stage, making joint decisions and aligning behaviors with the values that are important to your family.
Creating Structure Without Losing Warmth
For many families, the idea of “family governance” can feel overly formal or intimidating. In practice, governance simply means creating shared expectations for how conversations happen, how decisions are made, and how voices are respected. Family meetings offer a low pressure way to introduce structure while still preserving warmth, flexibility, and personality.
When families agree on basic meeting guidelines together, the process itself becomes as valuable as the outcome. It reinforces collaboration, shared responsibility, and mutual respect, particularly in families with multiple generations, blended family systems, or increasing financial and decision making complexity.
Encouraging Participation and Equal Voice
It can also be fun to choose a physical item that denotes who has the floor to speak. This can be an item that has personal significance to your family, representing a particular shared memory or experience, or something that symbolizes your family’s heritage.
Some families have found that incorporating fun into the meeting by using a children’s toy can also unlock a different dimension of levity and playfulness into the meeting. Regardless of the chosen item or symbol, the idea that the person holding the item has the floor to talk can help all voices to be heard.
This simple practice can be especially powerful in families where some members may naturally dominate conversation or where younger or quieter participants hesitate to speak. A shared visual cue reinforces fairness, presence, and intentional listening.
Sample Family Meeting Guidelines
- Be present
- Be curious
- Be respectful in words and deed
- Listen actively
- Own your views
- Avoid criticism or blame
- Be willing to edit what you say
- Be patient
- Be willing to let some things go
- Seek first to understand
- Bring your best self to the meeting
How Family Meeting Guidelines Build Long-Term Resilience.
Clear meeting guidelines help families move beyond reactive conversations and toward intentional dialogue. Over time, these shared practices can reduce misunderstandings, defuse conflict, and create a safer environment for discussing sensitive topics, including family roles, expectations, legacy planning, and transitions of responsibility.
For families with significant assets or complex decision making structures, regular family meetings can also support continuity and clarity. When communication norms are established early and revisited often, families are better equipped to navigate change without fracturing relationships.
Making Family Meetings a Sustainable Practice
Family meetings do not need to be frequent or formal to be effective. Some families meet quarterly, others annually, often tied to holidays or shared gatherings. What matters most is consistency and intention.
Starting with simple guidelines and a shared commitment to listening sets the tone for productive conversations over time. As families evolve, these meetings can adapt, incorporating new voices, shifting priorities, and deeper discussions while remaining grounded in the values that matter most.
Why Enterprise Trust
Enterprise Trust believes that lasting stewardship begins with thoughtful communication. As families grow and responsibilities evolve, having an experienced, impartial trustee can help ensure conversations remain productive, respectful, and aligned with long-term goals. Please reach out to our team to learn more.
Enterprise Trust & Company, Inc., and Enterprise Trust Company, LLC, are wholly-owned subsidiaries of Lido Advisors, LLC. Lido Advisors, LLC, and its subsidiaries do not give tax or legal advice. Please consult an attorney or tax advisor should you require such services.
